Blind On Fearless Love
by Nesbitt
Summary: Severus is discovered as a traitor and must be pronounced missing in action for his own safety. He is sent to Grimmauld Place where Remus and Sirius reside. Can Severus overcome past feelings and develop new ones for Remus? Slash AU RxR
1. Grimmauld Place

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters or terms. Anything familiar belongs to J.K Rowling. This is pure imagination._**

**_A/N: Please read and review. I'd like to know what you think and if you'd like me to continue this story. I already have an ending figured out, so if all goes well and people seem to like it, a sequel will follow._**

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**Blind On Fearless Love.**

**Chapter One: Grimmauld Place**

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Severus Snape stumbled into the darkened entry hall of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Complete darkness concealed his figure as he wobbled slightly. His black robes felt ten times heavier as they weighed heavily against his tense shoulders. He strained his eyes, peering at one spot, hoping the messy haze would disappear and his eyes would register his surroundings. A low moan whistled between his lips as yet another stabbing pain ached through his bones. With every step, his muscles screamed in agony. Severus fell back heavily against the stair banister, banging his aching skull against a thick, mahogany pole. A distorted mumble slithered through his lips and he stumbled into a small round object. A ripping sound followed and then a loud, piercing screech.

"Half-breed! Impure, poisoned blood! Roaming the noble and most ancient house of Black!

Severus howled as the piercing shrill echoed in his ears. He fell to his knees clutching at the sides of his head, tugging the greasy locks. He felt his fingers smear the darkened trickle of blood that slithered down his left temple. His body felt like ice and flecks of water sprayed from his hair as he bent forward, grinding his teeth and inhaling deeply.

"Shut up!" he yelled back at the portrait, "Shut up you vile woman!"

His knees creaked horribly against the cracked floor boards and a wave of nausea fluttered through his stomach. Everything blurred and Severus's head swam, the dull thumping ache increasing to a violent throb. Darkness fell over him and the last thing he saw was a faint light shimmering from under a door and the bleak silhouettes of two men.

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A small light flickered in the corner of the room that Severus found himself waking up in. He kept his eyes shut, willing the vibration in his head to ease and allow him at least two minutes to register his surroundings. He could smell a faint hint of candle wax and dust swirling in the air. He prised his eyes open, blinking furiously. It was an unfamiliar setting; the room was overly large with a crystal chandelier dangling from the frescoed ceiling. Groaning slightly, he turned his head to the side. The curtains had been drawn and on the bedside cabinet, someone had left a glass of water. He felt warm and dry and noticed that someone had removed his wet, dirt covered robes and dressed him in a pair of night robes. A pang of anger flushed through him. How dare anyone undress him!

His emotions soon disappeared when he attempted to sit up in bed. He yelled loudly and gasped. A searing pain had shot through his muscles.

"Shit" he hissed, clenching his teeth and easing himself back into the pillows.

As his senses quickly rushed back to reality, he was overcome with discomfort. His head swam, his arms ached, his head spun and his face seemed numb. Quick, silent flashes flew through his head, etching at his memory as he tried to place the faces behind the masks. He remembered the swift movement of cloaks, the silver gleam of death masks, the sleek polish of a fine wand and then the writhing of his body on the grass.

A knock on the door quickly withdrew him from his memories. He snapped his head up and regretted it, his muscles contracting tightly and he shamelessly allowed a grunt of agony. The door quickly swung open and the man behind it pounced into the room, his face livid with concern. Severus groaned mentally, regretting ever allowing himself to pass out at Grimmauld Place. The wizard before him wore tanned corduroy trousers that were greying considerably at the knees. A too large jumper swung freely from his thin frame and the auburn hair, flecked with grey, danced in front of his eyes.

"Are you alright?" the wizard asked, creasing his brow in concern, "I heard something as I was passing the landing."

Severus frowned. "I'm perfectly capable Lupin," he snapped, edging his way up onto the pillows, "Where have my robes gone? I have items in there that need not be tampered with nor seen- especially by prying eyes!"

Remus pointed to a mass of dark material that hung over a wooden chair. Generosity, as it seems, was completely out of Severus Snape's understanding. Remus, although knowing the nature of the feared Potions Professor, couldn't help but allow a crease to etch at his forehead.

"I haven't touched them," he informed, "I just cast a drying spell over them. I didn't want to wash them in case you had -"

Severus easily swung the blankets from his lower body and eased his legs over the bed, touching down on the cold wooden floor.

"What are you doing?" Remus yelled, rushing to the bed side and staring down at Severus.

"Leaving," the potions master hissed, going to push himself from the mattress.

Remus put a hand on Severus's shoulder and pushed him back into the bed. "You can't leave!" he said.

Severus flung the wolfs hand from his shoulder and glared up at the scarred face. "Get you paws off of me," he hissed, narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth, "My duties are needed elsewhere Lupin. They are not needed while residing in this forsaken house, in the company of a wolf and a convict! You would do well to remove yourself from my company immediately."

Remus glared into the charcoal eyes before him. His top lip curled angrily and he took a step back from the bed. "I am not one of your students Severus," he said softly, trying to control his anger for fear of lashing out at the injured Spy, "You came to Grimmauld Place injured and I have given you a place to rest. Would you have preferred me leaving you on the floor? Cold, bleeding and injured."

Snape hoisted himself from the bed, flinching as his weakened legs struggled to hold his full weight. He stiffened his shoulders and glared down his nose at Remus, whose head just reached his chin. "Don't you dare speak to me in that tone wolf" he said in a soft, yet deep, silky voice, "I would have preferred the wrath of continuous Cruciatus than ever hold your company or actions. Do well for yourself Lupin, and leave me to dress."

A crisp crackle from the far end of the room made both men cock their heads and peer into the shadows. Another crackle hissed from the fire place and a few ruby red sparks fell onto the carpet. Severus glanced around for his wand which was nowhere in sight. He began to silently panic, his eyes darting around the room for any means of weapon. He rested no faith in the werewolf, not an ounce of faith could he entrust to a dark creature. A rumbling noise echoed from the fire place and then, in a cloud of darkened sooth, they heard a fit of coughing.

Remus pointed his wand into the sooth cloud. "Who's there? Show yourself," he commanded in a deep tone.

"A very dusty old wizard," a light hearted voice chuckled, emerging from the sooth cloud.

Remus cracked a grin and Severus couldn't help but scowl. Albus Dumbledore, dressed in large purple robes with sparkles on them and his usual long silver beard tucked into his belt, strode from the cloud and grinned around him.

"Lower your wand Remus," he smiled. He then turned to Severus and a glisten of concern flashed through his eyes, "Good Merlin, Severus, lie back down!"

Snape cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest, sneering directly at the Headmaster. "I assure you Headmaster that my condition is merely sore muscles and a headache, both of which can be settled with a potion from my own personal store."

"Both of which can be settled with rest, now seat yourself back in that bed boy," Albus ordered. He then turned to Remus, "I think a nice cup of tea is in order Remus, if you would kindly grace us with such."

Severus scowled at Remus as he nodded eagerly and dashed from the room. Narrowing his eyes, he waited for Dumbledore to put a locking charm on the door before he seated himself back on the bed, hissing again at the sharp pain that shot up through his spine.

Dumbledore drew a chair up alongside Severus and turned to the young Wizard. His eyes shone with worry and curiosity. It wasn't unusual to find Severus Snape with a bruised eye or a swollen lip. Severus's job as Spy for the light side was a difficult one. Every single day his life came under threat as he risked all for the sake of the Order. Every single day Dumbledore worried about his young Spy, he watched him eating at the staff table, his onyx eyes resting on nothing in particular as he delved into his own memories. More than once Dumbledore had seen the glisten of sadness or hatred quickly flash in the young wizards eyes. He saw the muscles in his face tense with every emotion.

"He is suspicious," Severus said, fixating his eyes on the far wall, "he fears my loyalty is under severe strain."

"What did Tom do to you, Severus?" Albus asked gently.

Severus stiffened his jaw and Dumbledore knew immediately the young man was going to dismiss the situation.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, Headmaster," Severus said firmly, "he brought me forward in the circle and asked if I had more information on the new whereabouts of the Order. I informed him that you told me nothing of such tales and I put forward the option that he may have heard false winds. The Dark Lord, as head strong as he is, was convinced of my wavering loyalty. He quizzed me for a while, probing for any split end to my story. He found nothing wrong but decided I needed punishment. He called forward one of the others. I didn't know who it was because he hadn't called them my name, just motioned for them. The wand was unfamiliar when the man behind the mask pointed it at me."

Severus paused for a few moments to sip on the water that Dumbledore had handed him. He strained to pull the images from his memory but things were hazy. He remembered it was a fairly tall man, with a large build. Perhaps it had been Goyle. He knew it couldnt have been Crabbe, regardless of his sons build; Mr Crabbe was quite a slim man. The wand had been a dark wood with a deep carving pattern spiralling up to the handle.

"Severus?" Dumbledore asked, eyeing the weakened man before him, "Shall I fire Poppy for a potion? Perhaps to ease the pain. Maybe some salve to lighten the bruise on your cheek."

"Of course not!" he snapped back. The last thing Severus needed right now was that infuriatingly nosey and persisting Hogwarts matron prancing around after him with silly potions. He had always found his own concoctions to be much more soothing- and better tasting. He cleared his throat and looked to Albus. "Whoever the man was, he used the Cruciatus cures twice, for a number of minutes. He then used the _Morsus Infligo _spell; it cast a thin strip of silver from the tip of his wand that whipped against my torso. After that it was nothing but physical body contact, the muggle way."

Dumbledore cast his cyan eyes to the floor and shook his head. "Oh dear Severus, this should not be happening my boy," he said softly, "Every meeting is getting worse. I fear your departure as I know your return is becoming less likely."

Severus nodded and allowed a slight grunt. He didn't know what to say to Dumbledore and likewise, Dumbledore could not conjure any other words. A knock on the door signalled the return of Remus. Dumbledore flicked his wand at the door. Severus crossed his arms again and drew his attention from the wolf. Remus entered carrying a tray laden with tree cups, milk, sugar and a steaming kettle. He laid the tray on the end of the bed and smiled at the two men before him. Severus narrowed his eyes to a fine slit when he saw Sirius Black enter the room. The convict glances in Severuss direction and grinned slightly. His free flowing hair tumbled onto his shoulders in fine curls and his moustache sprang into delicate curls at the tips.

"Sugar will help, Severus," Remus said, completely ignoring the glaring match that had erupted between the two enemies and he poured him a cup of tea, spooning two heaps of sweetness into the cup.

Severus glared up at Lupin but graciously accepted it. Remus then turned to Dumbledore and wrung his hands.

"Could I talk to you for a moment, Professor?" he asked, "It is a matter of importance."

Dumbledore rose from his seat and the two wizards spoke in private outside the room. Severus clenched his free hand tightly and inhaled sharply through his nose. His eyes shot to the figure of Sirius and he couldn't help but flush with rage.

_Idiotic mutt, _he thought to himself.

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**_And that concludes chappie #1. If you like the way this is sounding and if you'd like me to continue this please let me know._**

**_Nesbitt_**


	2. Start of Term Feast

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters or terms. Anything familiar belongs to J.K Rowling. This is pure imagination.**

**A/N: Please read and review. I'd like to know what you think and if you'd like me to continue this story. I already have an ending figured out, so if all goes well and people seem to like it, a sequel will follow.**

**Blind On Fearless Love.**

**Chapter Two: Start of Term Feast**

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It had been 3 days since Severus had stumbled through the doors of Grimmauld Place, bleeding and aching. Much to his own comfort he was now back at Hogwarts, breezing through his familiar dungeons with a silent smirk cracking his stern face. His cheek still felt sore after the beating and a slight hint of purple and black remained. While it had been somewhat nice to lie back without much concern at the Orders headquarters, it felt ten times better to slip back into his authoritative role and prepare for another year. He shrugged off the thoughts of having to deal with OWL students and NEWT students, particularly the Weasley twins who this year will be partaking in the NEWT exams, and instead he thought of dining at the staff table amongst mouth-watering foods and of course, putting arrogant, rule breaking Gryffindor students in their rightful place - the desk in front of his desk in detention!

Severus slipped in through the gilded Great Hall doors and quickly glanced around at the empty student tables. He scowled when his eyes lay to rest on the table with a Slytherin flag above it, as right next to it a Gryffindor flag hung above another student table.

_What in Merlin is Albus thinking? _his mind growled, as he strode towards the staff table, _He knows the competition between both houses, he knows neither of the students get along with each other and still, he seats them side by side with nothing more than a thin walkway between them._

Putting on his best scowl, he slipped around the back of the staff table, nodding courteously to each Professor that took the time to acknowledge him and took his seat to the left of Dumbledore. Nodding to Albus, he signalled towards Professor McGonagall's empty seat.

"Gone to accompany the first years, is she?" he asked, twirling a napkin between his long fingers, "A bit early, to say the least."

Dumbledore smiled softly. "Not just yet, my boy," he said, drawing his attention towards the Great Hall doors, his eyes glistening, "More accompanying a new addition to the staff."

Severus cocked an eyebrow. "New addition?" he demanded.

Dumbledore nodded towards the giant gilded doors and rose from his seat. Severus drew his gaze to the end of the hall and froze, his jaw slightly dropping. If he had just Apparated back from a traumatising, torture filled session with Voldemort, he may have believed his eyes to be deceiving him, but seeing as his senses were fully intact, he scowled heavily. Walking in step with Professor McGonagall was the last person Severus Snape wanted to see, especially at Hogwarts - Remus Lupin. The gentle werewolf, dressed in his neatest suit and cloak, smiled widely up at the staff table. Severus narrowed his eyes. There was no way Lupin was after getting the position as DADA Professor because that had gone to someone from the Ministry.

"Professor," Snape asked in a hurried, silky voice, "Is there any particular reason as to why Lupin is here. After all, the position for Defence against the Dark Arts Professor is occupied and I am not aware of the resignation of any professor."

Dumbledore ignored Severus' request and opened his arms towards Remus, beaming from ear to ear and motioning for him to take a seat. Remus smiled, sliding into a seat alongside Severus and nodding at him. He glared back.

"Headmaster -"

"You'll find out why we have the joy of being accompanied by Remus this year as soon as the students come in and," Dumbledore leaned back into his seat, eyes twinkling, "here they are now."

A stream of students led by Hagrid, ranging from the ages of 12- 18, burst into the Great Hall, chattering loudly and squeezing around the form of Hagrid to grab the most convenient seats at their house table. They bustled around each other, shouting "Bye!" and "I'll see you by the lake tomorrow!" Remus craned his head a little higher and grinned when he recognised the lanky, red headed Ron Weasley stroll proudly into the hall, his chest puffed slightly to show his shiny prefect badge. He was followed by a bush of untidy black hair that was Harry Potter and a smiling Hermione Granger. Remus raised his hand slightly and waved at them. They stared back in shock, elbowing each other into the ribs and nodding their hellos. It wasn't just the trio that recognised Remus; a few other students remembered the tired, scarred face of their former Defence against the Dark Arts professor. The Slytherin house in particular and a few students from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw muttered angrily to each other and sneered up at the table. Remus blushed a faint hint of red, while beside him; Severus smirked smugly and nodded towards his own house. No one had forgotten the removal of Remus Lupin from the school over a year ago, when it had been leaked out that he was a werewolf; Draco Malfoy and his fellow students in particular, who were the bringers of the news after their head of house had "accidentally" let slip the condition of their DADA professor.

"Are you feeling any better, Severus?" Remus asked, the corners of his mouth drawing into a gentle smile.

The Potions Master curled his top lip and clenched his fist tightly under the table. "You may refer to me as Professor Snape from now on, as that is my deserved title. Likewise, I shall refer to you, if at all I shall be unfortunately required to do so, in the exact same manner."

Remus nodded and grinned to himself. _Oh Moony, _he thought as he smiled down at the oncoming stream of small, excited looking black clad first years that had spilled into the hall, _this is going to be an eventful year - a very, eventful one. What have you gotten yourself into? _He clapped politely when Michael Argent was sorted into Ravenclaw and when Jodi Agree was sorted into Gryffindor. _But sure it can't be that bad, it's not as if you'll have additional stress this year, it's a small few jobs if needed, that's all, _he continued to tell himself, grinning slightly when an excited boy by the name of Ormande Wilkos practically fell from the stool with the excitement. Ormande was sorted into Slytherin and Remus couldn't suppress a smile when he heard Professor Snape groan lightly. _Anyway Remus, the money will come in handy and that's what's most important. At least now Sirius and I can get that new couch, the old one is gone beyond repairing charms._

"Another year has begun!" Professor Dumbledore said, rising from his chair and motioning to the entire hall. Remus jerked from his thoughts and looked up. "Firstly, to all first years - welcome. And to all those who are returning for another year at Hogwarts- welcome to you too. Iam sure you will once again unite as a warm and pleasant student body to show our newcomers a helpful hand when needed. As a family, here at Hogwarts, we have seen out fair share of misfortunes," at this, quiet mutters and sympathetic glances were directed towards the Hufflepuff table. The memory of Cedric Diggory remained freshly ingrained in each mind. "But together, proud and strong, we have stood the tests of time and come out on top."

A quick round of applause erupted in the hall. Dumbledore held his hand for silence and beamed proudly at his students.

"Now, I know a few have recognised new faces at our staff table tonight," he continued, "If you can give a warm, heart filled welcome to a familiar, kind hearted face - Remus Lupin! Who will be taking up the position as assistant Keeper of keys and ground at Hogwarts and caretaker, alongside our very own Professor Hagrid and Mr Filch!" Remus blushed a heavy scarlet and nodded weakly to the not so loud applause. He averted his gaze to his empty plate, shrinking under what he knew was the mocking glare of Severus Snape. His keen sense of hearing allowed him to pick up a few nasty comments from the Hufflepuff students and his eyes flashed with shame.

"Welcome to the team Professor!" Hagrid boomed, loud enough for some students to hear, slapping him on the shoulder and grinning mad, "We'll 'ave a right handful of laughs down in them grounds. Aint nothin' like company when tacklin' them Flesh Eatin' Slugs."

Remus forced a quick smile for the sake of gratitude. He didn't want to seem ungrateful. He was far from that. Remus was delighted with the chance of making some money. He needed it - and bad. The welfare benefits had been cut dramatically since last year, and the situation at Grimmauld Place was getting rougher. With Sirius remaining an escped convict, Remus was left with the burden of finding a job and his 'furry little problem' helped in no way.

"Yes, _professor,_" Severus sneered, emphasizing heavily on the 'professor', "welcome to the team."

Severus grinned smugly down at his own house table. A feeling of revenge and satisfaction had nestled in his mind. Here he was, Professor, Head of House, Potions Master and complete genius and there the wolf was "assistant care taker".

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat once again, drawing the attention of the restless students back to him. "Secondly, on direct orders from the Ministry of Magic," and at this Dumbledore's voice became firm and strained, "I have appointed Dolores Umbridge as Defence against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts this year and -"

A small, squat woman, dressed heavily in pink and awfully resembling a toad, rose from a small stool that had been positioned behind Dumbledore's large chair. The hall fell silent as students and staff alike followed her form as she walked to the front of the hall. Crossing her hands in front of her hips and smiling around the hall, she cleared her throat in a high pitched tone.

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore," she said in a soft voice, "but I think I can manage from here." All eyes flickered to the Headmaster, who for a split second, glowered over his half moon glasses and then took his seat, leaning down to mutter something to Professor McGonagall.

"My name," the lady in pink continued, "is Dolores Umbridge, your newly appointed Defence against the Dark Arts Professor as ordered by the Minister for Magic under Educational Decree Number Twenty-two."

Silence followed until Professor Umbridge cleared her throat, which issued an awkward applause. She smiled and returned to a seat at the far end of the table.

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"Umbridge!" Severus spat, pacing up and down in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk late that night.

He had tailed Dumbledore to his office after the feast and quizzed him on the irrational, decisions he had taken this year.

"First the werewolf and now Umbridge?" he continued, coming to a halt and glaring down his nose at Dumbledore, "and more to my amusement, you hire the wolf as a caretaker?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly, a faint twinkle playing in his eyes. "As it stands, Severus, the Welfare pay for registered Werewolves has dropped at an alarming rate. I don't fancy seeing any member of the light suffer economically, not at all if it can be prevented. The simple answer to such a problem was to hire Remus under false pretences."

Severus cocked an eyebrow and took a seat in front of Dumbledore's desk. "False pretences?"he questioned, confusion etching at his features.

"Why of course. Remus won't actually be working here, there's no need at all for that my boy, Hagrid and Mr Filch are perfectly capable of executing a fine job by themselves. Remus will simply be registered as currently working here, but will actually reside at Grimmauld Place. Once in a while of course he will make an appearance in the castle, but simply to lead on that he works for his earnings."

A seething jet of annoyance ravaged at his insides. So now the wolf was getting money for nothing. While every other Professor worked for their keep, the wolf got away scott free.

"Severus I know you dislike Remus Lupin," Dumbledore said, peering at the Potions Master, "but times are difficult. It's now that we need co-operation and understanding, more than anything."

Severus grunted lightly and sighed. "I know, Albus," he said softly, lowering his tough exterior briefly. Times were hard, especially for him. He had the stresses of keeping with his classes and guiding an entire student body to success. He had the strain of the Dark Lord slowly suffocating him as suspicion began to arouse. He needed to be on the double every meeting, one step ahead every time he was called and he needed his wits and strengths about him. His mind barriers could not be broken; he could not allow a single slip up - not unless he wanted to destroy hope for the Wizarding world.

On top of all of that, Severus worried about the faith of Slytherin students. Would each one fall into the downward spiral of murder, brutality and loneliness that came with the imprint of the infected Dark Mark? He worried most about his 6th and 7th years. They were in their prime now, ready to be called and most likely, they were willing to be called. His 5th years, which contained Draco Malfoy, were one year away from being accepted into the ring. They were most likely being encouraged by the older students. His 4th years would be considering their options, but Severus new, he knew they would be drawn in by the fantasy of it all. He had. That was how he got involved in this mess. The wild fantasises of power, dominance and revenge that had been fed to him by Lucius Malfoy - the same ones that were probably being fed to Draco Malfoy, who in turn would feed them to uneducated students. It was a lonely life that of a Death Eater child, and Severus' insides squirmed at the thought of the fresh faces that had been sorted this evening. Who amongst them would choose the wrong path? Which ones would fail at the cross roads?

"Reminiscing does nothing of any good to the mind, my boy." Dumbledore whispered.

Severus nodded and stood. His mind buzzed with every emotion possible. Straightening up, he returned to his strict, formal figure.

"I bid you Good-night, Headmaster," he said, nodding stiffly and turning on the spot.

"Good-night my boy," Professor Dumbledore replied.

Dumbledore sighed deeply and leaned back into his gilded chair. His eyes felt heavy and once again, he felt like a very elderly wizard.

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Leaning heavily into a rickety chair in his temporary rooms, Remus Lupin sighed with dejection and gazed into the hearth of a crackling, ember filled fire. His tattered old jumper let just enough draft in to make him shiver, even against the fires blaze. He leaned heavily into his hand, his fingers entwining in his limp greying hair and he tugged gently. He felt sick and uneasy. The full moon loomed menacingly in his mind and he dreaded the transformation. Even after 29 years, he still whimpered as the silver light of a full moon engulfed him and turned him into a monster. The ripping, burning sensation of human flesh being ripped by his own claws from his body, the splintering, pulling ache of bones growing and twisting. He flinched as a quick stab of pain ached his mouth, reminding him of the sharp, glistening fangs that pierced through his gums. Emotions overcame Remus and he sniffled, dabbing at the corners of his prickling eyes.

"Remus you old fool," he muttered, closing his eyes and sighing heavily.

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**Quite a sad chapter actually, particularly the last few pieces where we see the real strain of war and illness on three men.**

**Anyway thank you so much for your reviews on chapter one, it really encouraged me to keep going with this. Thank you also to the people who added my story to Alerts and Fave. Story and so on.**

**Please continue to read and review.**

**Nesbitt**


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